The Cultural Gutter

beyond good and bad, there is awesome

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -- Oscar Wilde

JAPANESE SUKEBAN AND NAKED NUNS!

Keeping in mind that “Sukeban” translates from Japanese as “Teenage female delinquent”, and that in SUKEBAN GUERILLA (1973) said nubile ruffians initiate each other by holding each other down and tattooing each others entire left tit, you should be fully aware that any filmic trash fan worth their mustard will adore this funky turd from […]

3 times the sleaze, 3 times the fun!

Sexploitation cinema provides a saucy slab of sleaze

Sexploitation, for those of you uninitiated, is a sub genre of adult film that for the most part predated the first hardcore sex films of the early to mid ’70s. These low budget pictures were nudity packed with full figured women, kooky dialog, and drive-in and grindhouse theater advertising campains that promised the world in […]

Me N’ Smithee

Bougie finds himself face to face with an enigma

I’ve never been so nervous or star struck as when I was recently graced with the supreme honor of speaking to the one and only Allen Smithee. This was no ordinary film director. Prior to the interview, I was racked with stressful indecision. Would I ask him about his directing an actress of a high […]

Little Darlings

Steep your aged loins in virgin-themed cinematic nostalgia

I spend a lot of time skimming the DVD listings on eBay, and a couple days ago I scored the nearly forgotten Hollywood teen-sex classic Little Darlings on DVD via someone with the user name “forgotten films”. It’s a rare homemade bootleg these guys offer, but is the best quality bootleg I’ve ever seen. Animated […]

Skin-somnia

Bougie is up all night pondering anti-porn zealots and Bagel Bites

I’m sitting there watching late night TV and there’s this commercial. It’s nothing special, and nothing I haven’t seen many times before. It’s typical in its banality, but resplendent with this totally inane theme song. He’s not visible, but I can hear that this guy is just rockin’ out while we are looking at these […]

Joke only about your face, Willis!

Diff

I’d like to change speeds this time out, and cast an eye towards the idiotbox instead of the silver screen. Our location will be New York, where a cast of characters featured a wealthy widower named Philip Drummond (Conrad Bain), who lived in a luxurious penthouse with his nubile teenage daughter Kimberly (Dana Plato). As […]

Bogus Celebrity Nudes Revealed!

Debunked celebrity porn by The Fake Detective

Either in their ’40s noir cinema incarnation, or as modern day gumshoes, detectives are pretty low-key and don’t usually announce their presence by yelling out to anyone who will listen about their ability to solve crimes, but a 60 year old Wisconsin man named Ed Lake who is better known to photoshop devotees as “The […]

Just Try and Stop the Music, I Dare You

Mmmm-hmmm...The Village People need love too

While the success of the average movie is certainly based upon inspiring in the viewer a suspension of disbelief, great works from the camp genre succeed in their suspension of other qualities. Namely, good taste (what ever the hell THAT is) and the rule that most films are nothing but ball-less scrotums that give you […]

Kamikaze Hearts of Gutter Punk Lesbians

Make-believe, addiction, despair, two-bit sleaze and two-bit dreams.

During the “Sharon Mitchell film festival” held at the Coolidge Corner Theater in Boston on June 6th 2000, the legendary porn queen showed clips from her XXX films spanning her 3 decades long career and provided a running commentary for the audience. Sharon held the crowd in rapt attention while she revealed the title from […]

At The 23-Screen Stadium-Seating Nacho-Serving Cineplex Of Madness

Uzumaki is Lovecraftian cinema at its haircurling best.

Mysterious creatures. Bizarre science. A dark, snowbound fortress. The occult. Tentacled, crustacean-inspired monsters. Hellish apocalypse. Primordial evil. Madness. Hellboy, the well-received latest film from neo-post-schlock auteur Guillermo del Toro (Cronos, The Devil’s Backbone, Blade II), offers these and other delights, all of which are common motifs in the work of that impossibly influential champion of […]

Learning Vince’s Dirty Moves

Wrestling with issues of exploitation.

In July 1996, Hulk Hogan shocked the world by becoming what oppressed him the most as a hero in the 1980s: he turned heel. As the garbage filled the ring, he told Mene Gene Okerland, “As far as I’m concerned, all this crap in the ring represents the fans out here. ” That year Pro […]

The Dominion of Shlock

Nat Taylor invented the multiplex cinema and was one of the founders of the private film-industry lobby in Canada, so feel free to despise him. But since the guy just died this past February 29 at a helpless age 98, why not remember him for his virtues – primary among them his role in bringing […]

Underfoot No Longer

Supersized critters are superhungry, too.

Marty McKee: Yeah, I know you’ve done a lot of different genres, but I’ve always wondered why that [giant animals] was so interesting to you. Bert I. Gordon: [Pause] I don’t know. [Laugh] Bert Gordon (AKA Mr. BIG, director of The Food of the Gods) doesn’t know why, and neither do I. I just know […]

Stella Performance

Human-Robot artistic collaboration deemed successful.

Leiji Matsumoto’s Interstella 5555: The 5tory of the 5ecret 5tar 5y5tem is a near-feature-length animated silent film with a musical score that almost exactly corresponds to Discovery, an album by French band Daft Punk. This is obviously by intention; Daft Punk have a history of great, weird videos, from the Spike Jonze-directed “Da Funk,” which […]

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    A 1,300-year-old Egyptian book of spells has been translated. “Among other things, the ‘Handbook of Ritual Power,’ as researchers call the book, tells readers how to cast love spells, exorcise evil spirits and treat “black jaundice,” a bacterial infection that is still around today and can be fatal.”

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    Zack and Steve go through and review Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Module S-1: The Tomb Of Horrors at WTF, D&D?!…so you don’t have to.

    “Steve: Most of the opening paragraph is a warning about difficulty. ‘You’ll never find the demi-lich’s secret chamber’ and the tomb is fraught with “terrible traps, poison gases, and magical protections.” It’s telling you not to play the adventure.

    Zack: Not just in that part. In the DM’s notes section at the start, Gygax explicitly warns Dungeon Masters that if your players enjoy killing monsters they will be unhappy with the adventure.

    Steve: ‘This module is only for parties that enjoy dying immediately and repeatedly.’ Oh, man, we’re not going to play though this thing are we?”

    ~

    Dr. Nerdlove takes a brief break from helping the nerd get the girl to address something that’s been bugging him. “Pardon me while I go off on a bit of a media criticism/ rant here. So I’ve been enjoying the *hell* out of The Flash lately except for one thing: Iris Allen. Her character is screen death; every time she’s around, everything comes to a screeching halt.

    The problem is: it’s not her fault, it’s the writers. Rather like Laurel Lance in the first two seasons of Arrow, she has Lois Lane syndrome. Her (like Laurel and Lois) entire character arc is based around being ignorant of events that literally everyone else in her life is aware of.”

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    Get your own copy of the Satanic Temple’s The Satanic Children’s Big Book of Activities!

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    At The Atlantic, Ta-Nehisi Coates writes about Dr. Doom: “Comics are so often seen as the province of white geeky nerds. But, more broadly, comics are  the literature of outcasts, of pariahs, of Jews, of gays, of blacks. It’s really no mistake that we saw ourselves in Doom, Magneto or Rogue.”

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    Actor Ken Takakura has died. Takakura starred in films such as Brutal Tales of Chivalry (1965); Red Peony Gambler (1968); Miyamoto Musashi: Duel at Ichijoji (1955) and Miyamoto Musashi: Duel at Ganryu Island (1956); as well as in co-productions like The Yakuza (1974); The Bullet Train (1975); Black Rain (1989) and Riding Alone For Thousands Of Miles (2005).  The Japan Times, The South China Morning Post and The AV Club have obituaries. Japan Subculture has an interview with Takakura. Here Takakura sings the theme to Abhashiri Prison (1965)

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