The Cultural Gutter

beyond good and bad, there is awesome

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -- Oscar Wilde

Dealing with the R-Type Personality

Gutter Guest
Posted January 13, 2011

R-Type brighter 80.jpgR-Type has a funny way of showing its affection. It doesn’t give you black eyes, but it still makes them red and twitchy. You don’t eat as much. You abuse caffeine and
other stimulants, as if that makes much of a difference. Its benchmark of expectation keeps rising. Make no mistake: The standards presented will destroy you; while R-Type itself remains
unscathed on its pedestal. After a while it might become difficult to deny to friends that you are having a troubled relationship with it.

Enhanced by Zemanta

If this sounds familiar, there’s a good chance you’re not alone in suffering silently. R-Type gets around more than it lets on, and sometimes with people you’d prefer not to imagine. I recently found out that one of my friends decided to get a hold of R-Type precisely because of my warnings. If this was true, and my friend was really scoring with R-Type, I’d just have to try harder.

There was a time when R-Type only wanted you for your money, and would only meet you in the darkest corners of the pool hall, jostling you for every coin in your pocket. I’d heard the rumors, but that didn’t stop me. You see, a few weeks ago, I considered myself something of a player. The current landscape presented no challenge. Just how bad could things be? I’d just give R-Type a go, you know, nothing serious. Things would shake out different for me.

I first tracked down R-Type on my iPhone, but soon learnt that it prefers to meet where no one is watching you. R-Type likes to be in control right from the get go.
Thinking I’d do this on my terms, I naively invited R-Type into my home.

R-Type Personality 250.jpgInitially, there was a little bit of awkward banter, some business of “blasting off into space and striking the evil Bydo empire”, but after those lofty promises, I didn’t learn much else about R-Type. What followed was a chaotic blur of pure masochism and self hate. *While I felt responsible for where things were going, R-Type soon made it crystal clear that it was only interested in fucking me.

I found this a little unsettling at first, but soon began to respect the honesty of such a pure, albeit reptilian gesture. This respect, however, remains unreturned. That’s the basis of any kind of relationship with R-Type.

I’ve heard some stories where apartments had been violently re-arranged after people had learnt that R-Type wasn’t really right for them. But not me. It takes a special kind of person to understand R-Type. Sure, it might be a bit older, and not the best-looking prospect out there… but, believe me, if you look deep enough into that black, callus heart, you just might lose a piece of yourself.

It’s the little victories that lure you in. After navigating some obvious early mine fields, you might start to think that things are going to go your way… hell, you just might even get into a familiar groove, take things to the next level—sorry to break it to you, but this is just a ploy R-Type does to give you a false sense of security. It does this with everyone. Those initials on the wall of those before you, those are notches on its belt. Those people were not loved. They were broken. But sometimes you need to be broken to find yourself.

Despite the obvious red flags, I still managed to be convinced that the real problem was me, and had been all along. If I’d only paid more attention I might have noticed that there was a way to avoid all of those sudden seemingly constant humiliations, unwarranted explosions. In fact, all of that aggression was waiting for any time I wandered off the agreed course, and it was always assumed that I should know better. The terms of engagement might seem rigid, but they are fair. R-Type may not be perfect, but if you can just stick in there, and develop a knack to handle the often delicate baggage with tact and diplomacy, there really is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I just know there is!

I might not have the nerve now, but looking down the line, it’s only a matter of time before things will start to change for me and R-Type. Maybe if I work out more, I won’t continue to embarrass myself in front of R-Type.

Maybe if I continue to dig deeper into what’s left of my self respect, I might just find a part of me that can beat R-Type at its own game. But until then, like many before me, I choose to look it in the face and take my lashings with gratitude.

I fucking love you, R-Type.


Note: Since writing this over 1 month ago, I am no longer involved with R-Type. But if you see R-Type
around town, please tell them I say “Hi.”

~~~

DARRYL SHAW <LIEKS> VIEDO GMES AND JUST MAED A MOVEI ABOUT ROBOTS!!1!!1 WTF LOL CH3K IT OUT!!1!!1

Comments

Leave a Reply





  • Support The Gutter

  • The Book!

  • Of Note Elsewhere

    At Graveyard Shift Sisters, Carolyn looks at Lizzie Borden’s Born In Flames (1983) and the character, Adelaide Norris. “Born in Flames was revolutionary for its time, and I think it is still relevant today. This film has many layers, with both a speculative as well as a science fictional representation of a parallel universe that denies oppression. One of the main characters, Adelaide Norris played by Jean Satterfield, came to the forefront for me because of her race and role in the story. Adelaide is one of the key characters who pulls the female troops together. With the help of her mentor Zella, played by civil rights lawyer Flo Kennedy, this young Black and gay woman tirelessly researches, advises, and recruits women to fight the good fight for equality.”

    ~

    A video tribute to interactive VCR games including: Nightmare (1991), The Fisherman VCR Bible Game (1989), Rich Little’s Charades (1985), Wayne’s World VCR Game (1992), Star Trek: The Next Generation VCR Game (1995) and Skull and Crossbones (1988). (Thanks, Beth!)

    ~

    At The Los Angeles Review Of Books, Suzannah Showler writes about the complexity of the reality tv show The Bachelor and her complicated love for it. “I love The Bachelor the way I love most things, which is to say: complicatedly. On the one hand, I think it’s a fascinating cultural product, one I find great delight in close-reading. But I also love it, frankly, because I just like watching it. I think it’s top-notch entertainment, and I will straight up hip-check my politics out of the way, and give up many hours of my life, in the name of being entertained.” (Via @idontlikemunday)

    ~

    At Comics Alliance, Chris Sims recounts that time the Punisher battled Dr. Doom. “It starts off with Dr. Doom kicking it in an extradimensional conference room set up by Loki to coordinate mass villainy, where he is just ripping into the Kingpin for being unable to kill the Punisher….Thus, in a sterling example of the ‘well then why don’t you do it’ school of super-villain cameraderie, Dr. Doom, a man who built a time machine in his basement, heads off to try his luck at fighting the Punisher, a man who has a gun. He does this, as you might expect, by luring him to a quarry and — after a brief exchange between a Doombot and a minigun — attempting to blow up his van with a tank.”

    ~

    The Swiss Literary Archives have made their Patricia Highsmith collection available online here. (Thanks, Kate!)

    ~

    Andy Kaufman has breakfast with Classie Freddie Blassie in My Breakfast With Blassie (1983) (via @GCDB)

    ~

  • Spilling into Twitter

  • Obsessive?

    Then you might be interested in knowing you can subscribe to our RSS feed, find us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter or Tumblr.

    -------

  • Weekly Notifications

  • What We’re Talking About

  • Thanks To

    No Media Kings hosts this site, and Wordpress autoconstructs it.

  • %d bloggers like this: