"We are all in the gutter, but some of us..."
Taking Trash Seriously.
"...are looking at the stars."
-- Oscar Wilde
December 15, 2005
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This site is updated Thursday afternoon with a new article about an artistic pursuit generally considered to be beneath consideration. James Schellenberg probes science-fiction, Carol Borden draws out the best in comics, Chris Szego dallies with romance and Ian Driscoll stares deeply into the screen. Click here for their bios and individual takes on the gutter.

While the writers have considerable enthusiasm for their subjects, they don't let it numb their critical faculties. Tossing away the shield of journalistic objectivity and refusing the shovel of fannish boosterism, they write in the hopes of starting honest and intelligent discussions about these oft-enjoyed but rarely examined artforms. Contact us here.


Recent Features


Alan Moore Knows The Score

LEG Century 80.jpg“It's nice to hear all the old songs, isn't it?”

--the Devil, The Black Rider

I was surprised to hear the old songs in Alan Moore and Kevin O'Neill's The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Century: 1910 (Top Shelf, 2009). I probably shouldn't have been. The chapter title, “What Keeps Mankind Alive” distracted me, but I kept reading my water-damaged copy and ran smack into, “Mack the Knife.” Like the chapter title, it's a song from Bertolt Brecht and Kurt Weill's The Threepenny Opera.

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Breaking into the Business by Being Really, Really Disturbing

waspfactory-small.jpgDisturbing as hell, an elegantly constructed first-person plunge into the mind of a maniac, a teenager who murdered kids when he was a kid (and got away with it), and now has elaborate rituals that mostly involve killing small mammals. As a first novel, that's one way to make a splash - The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks is a debut from 1984, famous for its controversial events and intense narration. I'm always a little suspicious of controversy though - is the book worth anything outside of the scandal associated with its "shocking" content?

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I Got 99 Problems But a Bitch Ain't One

weefab.JPGSarah Wendell and Candy Tan occupy some interesting real estate in the romance world; a previously untenanted corner of Innernet and Romancelandia. Smart Bitches, Trashy Books is a different sort of headspace when it comes to a website about Romance novels.  It's frank, forthright, and not above fart jokes. 

Wendell and Tan don't just review novels, they also subject them to analysis, and praise or pan them as the situation requires. They demonstrate an unquenchable and exuberant love for the entire genre, while acknowledging - and even celebrating - its most ridiculous excesses. They've amassed an interesting and intelligent readership who tune in for the commentary and stay for fun. They even popularized the ever-useful phrase ‘man-titty’ as a descriptive aid in the discussion of cover art.  And now the original Smart Bitches have written a book of their own: Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches’ Guide to Romance Novels

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Life is Better Underground

by Robin Bougie

My obsession with below-ground parking lotsSince the first Cro-Magnon man set foot in the limestone caves of Lascaux, we have has a bittersweet relationship with cool, dank places. They provided mankind with much needed shelter from the elements, yet in their dark recesses they also supplied material for our nightmares -- whether they materialised as a flesh-ripping cave bear or a knife-wielding street thug jumping out as you fumble with your keys. Thus the instinctive and primal fear that grips everyone of us anytime we venture into the bowels of our urban sprawl: underground parking lots.

Maybe my obsession with movies featuring underground parking lot scenes is an odd one, but it's certainly no stranger than countless cine-philes renting/buying various unwatchable pieces of drek simply because the bimbo on the cover has "awesome tits." In the summer of 1987 when I was a young teen in Calgary Alberta, I would ride my BMX bike down those foreboding impersonal grey declines into the lots under the office towers downtown. It was cool, quiet and eerie, like a huge concrete crypt full of massive smooth pillars lit by flickering blue fluorescent lamps.

I guess admitting that I could spend an afternoon going from one of these to another is basically a confession that I didn't have many friends and that I was a rather pathetic creepy individual, but I like to think that it had more to do with man's primal connection to the places we feel safe in and yet scared of.

My interest is always piqued when a movie uses an underground parking lot as a key location, and I've been known to go on autopilot with an erection poking out from under my pants, and rapidly hump the leg of the person next to me. This is probably why I still don't have many friends and am considered a rather pathetic, creepy individual. Here is a short list of some of my favorite underground parking lot scenes:

MANHUNTER (1986) Directed by Michael Mann
The fantastic prequel (screw HANNIBAL, this is the real deal) to SILENCE OF THE LAMBS where once again, an FBI agent (WIlliam Peterson) relies on a caged Dr. Lector (Brian Cox) to supply him with clues as to how to catch a wily insane murderer. The murderer in question this time is Francis Dollarhyde aka The Red Dragon (expertly portrayed by Tom Noonan) who gets pissed off by a tabloid reporter named Freddy Lounds who writes that he feels The Red Dragon may be impotent.

After kidnapping, torturing, and bringing Lounds back to the lot that he was snatched from, Dollarhyde ties him to a wheelchair, sets him ablaze, and sends him careening down a long cement ramp to collide with the camera filming the scene. Fucking awesome atmosphere, and an excellent and innovative use of the underground parking lot location.

RUMBLE IN THE BRONX (1995) Directed by Stanley Tong
Jackie Chan plays a fresh-off-the-boat immigrant visiting New York (which is actually filmed in Vancouver) helping to protect his uncle's grocery store from a herd of ruthless multicultural ruffians.

In the scene in question, the gang of young kung-fu punks chase Jackie into a underground parking lot -- kicking, punching, and avoiding vehicles as they do battle. They eventually end up on the open air roof of the complex where Jackie hides in the back of a truck packed full of rubber balls. The punks discover him and send the truck crashing off the four story parkade into the middle of the street below, right in front of The Cambie -- a local bar that has a really yummy "burger and a brew" deal for a mere $5. Check it out next time you're in Vancouver.

HIGHLANDER (1986) Directed by Russel Mulcahy
A 16th century Scottish immortal warrior battles a bunch of other dudes who can't die through the centuries, until the sword-swingin' feud finds it's way to modern day 1980s Manhattan. Despite the fact that this is a somewhat overrated cult favorite that spawned two dreadful sequels and a shitty-ass TV series, it has a really fine parking lot scene.

In the underground vehicle housing of Madison Square gardens, which is housing a WWF match, Christopher Lambert does battle amongst some amazingly dramatic blue lighting and water that rains down on the swordsmen after they rupture a ceiling water main. Cars and concrete pillars get severe sword-damage, and I watched the entire sequence with a big stupid grin on my face.
undergroundBIG.jpg
THE TERMINATOR (1984) Directed by James Cameron
Michael Biehn as "Reese" comes back through time to protect Sarah Conner (Linda Hamilton) from Arnold in his role as a unfeeling, unrelenting cyborg assassin. The couple hotwire a car and take a much needed rest in the tranquility of a quiet U.G. lot, where Reese imparts his woeful tale of a future gone mad. But watch out you kooky kids! That's a Terminator after you! "He does not feel pity, he does not feel remorse, and he will not stop, ever, until you are dead!".

Sure as shit, he finds their stupid asses and a chilling underground chase ensues full of pulse pounding action and mayhem culminating in a powerful crash against a very hard concrete wall. That put an end to their bellyaching, it sure did!

BURNING AMBITION (1989) Directed by Frankie Chan
Frankie's unofficial remake of the Kinji Fukasaku's SHOGUN'S SAMURAI (1978) has action that comes hard and fast via an assload of typical ‘80s Hong Kong cinema stuntwork set pieces, complete with a gruelling parking garage fight.

Yukari Oshima and Kara Hui are forced to fend off a group of thugs who bust out a bunch of car windshields, presenting quite a conundrum as the ladies are barefoot and must fight on the broken glass. But Yukari somehow manages to whip a bunch of ass using a baseball bat, and delivers plenty of hard hits and some jaw dropping acrobatic movies including a mid-air hurricanarana. Hui, not to be outdone, manages some impressive kicks while doing a handstand! A great scene in a very cool looking parking garage.

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groovvy. I too am sad and pathetic and will now torrent Burning Ambition cause I love that shit too. I like going into offices that I don't work at.

gruntinMcBockfluff

I'm pretty sure a John Woo movie has an action scene start in an underground parking lot-probably Bullet in the Head. Also, there's a 1950's remake of M that has a very nice finale set in an underground parking lot.

—GG

Have you seen Day of The Dead yet, Robin? I really liked the underground carpark scene in that film, where Dennis Hopper's character meets his grisly demise.

Now I come to think about it, I'm struggling to recall a zombie movie that doesn't feature an underground carpark - or, at the very least, a man-made underground space - in one or more significant scenes.

It's interesting to think that many film directors have linked the primal instinct for survival with that of being trapped underground...

Pete


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Have you seen Day of The Dead yet, Robin? I really liked the underground carpark scene in that film, where Dennis Hopper's character meets his grisly demise.

Now I come to think about it, I'm struggling to recall a zombie movie that doesn't feature an underground carpark - or, at the very least, a man-made underground space - in one or more significant scenes.

It's interesting to think that many film directors have linked the primal instinct for survival with that of being trapped underground...

Pete

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Of Note Elsewhere
"Geisha is Robot." Geisha fight samurai, giant temples and lady tengu. Geisha also transform.
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Mladen Sekulovich, aka Karl Malden, has died at 96. He was in many, many entertainments, including Meteor, the legendary 1970s cop show The Streets of San Francisco, some very respectable films and many, many Westerns like How The West Was Won, Nevada Smith and One-Eyed Jacks. Obituaries here, here and here.

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In support of my latest Screen article, there's nothing disappointing about these re-imagined posters by Olly Moss. Or x-factor-e's De Niro stream. Or the endlessly entertaining Film the blanks (Sudoku for film geeks).
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Champion Mojo storyteller Joe Lansdale talks about what makes him a champion: a crazy number of upcoming stories, a Jonah Hex animated short and his mighty understanding of the publishing industry.(Thanks, Chuck!)
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"If the post-"Crouching Tiger" boom in Asian cinema was an irrational, Dutch-tulip-style bubble, then the virtual disappearance of Asian films from American screens is an equally irrational overcorrection." Andrew O'Herir interviews Grady Hendrix (NYAFF and formerly Kaiju Shakedown), Keith Allison (Teleport City) and Todd Stadtman (4DK) about corrections, industry incompetence and piracy.
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